Turning down the noise

I was perusing the forums at Bhuz* and I came across an incredibly helpful reading recommendation from Ozma. A student dancer was explaining how her old teacher had helped her to get out of her own head (my words) regarding dancing. In response, Ozma recmmended the book How to Dance Forever, and in particular the section on "Noise". Noise is all the self criticism, worry and defeatist thoughts that happen while learning dance, which can become patterns that can inhibit dancing.

If you log onto Amazon and go to the book, check the "Look Inside" option and search for noise inside the book, and you can read most of the chapter (thank you to Suzana for pointing this out). It definitely struck a chord with me, as noise is something I have had to work past in dancing. It's the "I'm so old/out of shape/uncoordinated/clueless/etc." critic that can run on an endless loop in my head. When this happens I have to turn it off, focus only on what I need to do in class, ask questions, and act like I look awesome while I work things out (to avoid frowning, angry looks, or "oops" face while dancing).

While reading one line struck me as particularly relevant for ATS/ITS dancers: "Above all, be certain you learn as quickly as possible what happens on count 1. If you don't know count 1, count 2 will be ridiculous." ATS/ITS dancers, have you ever had the moment when you've gone into a move you don't know that well, fumbled the one count, then proceeded to make a train wreck of the next 4 or more counts? I have! I've also hesitated started a move, with the same result, as well as confusing feet, losing the beat, rushing a move to get to the "good part" and so on.

When this happens you can not only mess up yourself, but as a leader you can take your followers down with you. If that happens too many times, you can start to lose the trust of those following you, and when that trust is gone you can lose the magic that makes ATS/ITS work. You don't lead with confidence, your followers second guess what you are doing, and there becomes a tension and stilted quality to the dancing that makes it flat and uninspiring.

So, know your moves! Know them well, inside and out, facing in different directions. Know them to different tempos, how to come in and out of them from different moves, and which ones work and don't work with different music. Know what to do when you mess up, so you can correct gracefully and with confidence. Have your safety moves. Also, know your music! How many times have you fumbled your dancing because you didn't know the music? If you're dancing to live music or a song you've never used or heard before, mess ups will happen. If you're dancing to music you've used before or was picked for a performance, there is no reason to get out there and have no idea of what is happening. Listen to your music in practice, at home, in the car, wherever and whenever you can. Knowing your music is as much a part of training as knowing your dance vocabulary.

And no, no one is perfect and there is nothing wrong with messing up, but messing up and letting the noise take over your head can lead to a disintegration of quality for the whole troupe. Be prepared both physically and mentally so that you can dance with confidence and ease (and joy!), which is the best thing for you and your troupe!


* really, no matter what you're bellydance style, get on Bhuz occasionally and read the forums. There is a lot of information to glean from the members.

Defeat the Beast

So, the 365 Days of Practice are going well. I need to update February, and I did miss one day in March so far. I'm pretty proud that my reaction was, "Whatever, I'll deal and get back on it tomorrow." That's a great reaction for me, because I like to stick with things I start and tend to be really hard on myself when I "fail", which is a pointless reaction because it's not failing if I miss a day and it's not the end of the world. Perhaps I had a better reaction because I knew I'd be getting back on the horse the next day. Perhaps it's because I missed practice because I had a fabulous time having a long dinner and evening of conversation with an old friend, which was way more important than that day's practice.

On the other hand, I think the regular practice is making me have a change in attitude about my physical body. I think I am having some sort of split between my body and brain, but in a necessary way. The other day I was thinking about my natural tendency to be lazy, to want to sit around and do nothing, to indulge my food whims. Then I thought about how good I felt at TribalCon, dancing and working and being on my feet (and sometimes other body parts) for hours, eating for pleasure and because I needed it. Sore but not totally wiped out, ready to start again the next day, ready to dance for fun at night.

I thought about how different are our modern needs nutritionally, physically and mentally compared to how our bodies have evolved to survive. Then this short phrase popped into my mind: my body wants to eat, spawn* and die. It wants to do what it has to to keep moving, pass on my genetic material as long and as much as it can, and that's about it. My body is capable of a lot physically, but it wants to do the minimum to get the work done.

The outcome of this thought process was this: I need to be a lot harder on my body. I'm not saying to hate myself or hurt myself or punish myself. I need to tell my body to suck it up, that we're dealing with modern times and my modern brain and it isn't going to get what it wants. My brain needs to have some control or my body is going to go to hell. The result of indulging all the laziness and sloth is pain, atrophy, ill health and frustration. Sure, I want to nurture my body, pamper it and treat it well, but nurturing cannot slide into excuses. Nurturing is an "also", not an "instead of." I need to get my brain more on board, too. I know what I should do, I know how I should eat and how much exercise I need and my brain needs to drop the excuses and learn to love the work. When I'm active and pushing myself and learning my brain feels better too.

So, things I am working on:

* Cooking healthier foods and acknowledging that enjoyment of food is necessary but that it is also fuel, and not every meal needs to be a huge production or an indulgent treat. When food is special, make it special so that the whole experience is set apart. Also, eat more raw veggies.

* Making sure my practice sessions are at least 30 minutes

* Getting up earlier so I can practice in the morning so I know it is taken care of for the day. Also, that way I can practice again later if I want, or do other physical things: gardening, walking, classes. This is the tough one, especially the days I work late. It's going to be gradual, so it might not happen soon but I'm working on it.

* Deepening my practices by approaching them on many levels. Not just doing the moves, but focusing on breathing, expression, tension, emotion, intention, control, speed, etc.

* Make downtime special. Don't have downtime because I get sucked into messing around online for hours. Acknowledge when it is happening so that it feels intentional and valid, not "wasted" time. It's okay to spend an afternoon sitting on the couch reading or blogging or whatever, but make it happen, not let it happen. And don't forget to make sure it happens, or else I'll burn out.


* I don't address any of the "spawning" things here because I'm childfree. Yep, sometimes my body says "Gogogo!" and my brains says, "Are you sure you're not making a mistake?", but it's not in the cards for me. The only thing I regret about my decision is for my parents sake, but at least my brother has kids.

Practice. And more practice

Inspired by Lisa Z's A Year of Practice, I'm going to try to do some sort of movement practice every day. Yoga, exercise, walking, drilling, choreography, classes. Each kind of movement is a part of putting together my own dance puzzle, as well as taking care of myself physically. I'm going to use this blog to make short notes on what I'm doing, and to examine the dance oriented activities in greater depth.

As for my overall goal? I think it's to make my dancing (and it's practice) less of a chore and more of a joy. To approach practice, classes, performances and fun dancing with the same excitement. To feel like I am progressing and not treading water.

My other dance goals are:

* try a non-belly dance class
* dance an entire song solo
* perform more, for fun or professionally

It changes how you look at everything

There is a flyer taped to a utility pole on my street, advertising a local "repair collective" of licensed, skilled workers who are available to hire for all sorts of repairs and jobs. While talking up their skills they also add the extra enticement of low rates, which they describe as undercutting the rates of their competitors.

Whoa, wait, undercutting?

If you've been in the belly dance scene for more than five minutes you've heard the stories of dancers losing gigs and other dance opportunities when another dancer, sometimes talented and sometimes not, comes along and offers to perform at a lower rate than the established performer. It's ugly. It's stupid. If you really are dying to dance go check out your local shows and haflas before stealing another dancer's job and performing for peanuts. One day you might be looking at the situation from the other side of the equation.

Though I know competitive pricing is all a part of running a business, it still made me stop to see the word undercutting used so casually. Hell, used with pride! I've been conditioned to think of undercutting as a sign of bad quality and clueless or malicious behavior. Perhaps this repair collective is made up of a bunch of wonderful, talented, hardworking people but their advertising language really turned me off. Something like "Give us a call and ask about out competitive hourly rates!" would have been a much more positive way to say, "We work for cheap!". And as someone who is about to buy a house, I am all about the cheap but not at the sake of quality and not if it screws other people out of a job.

Something that popped in my head

This thought just popped in my head, following my usual perusal of dance sites.

We don't have to save belly dance.

All we can so is dance, teach, study, share. We can be passionate, dedicated, thorough, inspiring, inspired, tough, helpful. We can set ourselves up as good examples and admit that we are only human, with the attendant faults. We can fight for what we love, and let go of what will only drag us down.

The dance doesn't need us to save it, it just needs us to be.

What time? No time!

I'm working six days a week right now, and it's seriously cut into my dance time. I'm teaching every Monday after work, troupe practice is Tuesday after work, Wednesday and Thursday I work in the evenings, Friday after work my SO and I try to hang out, Saturdays are usually booked and Sunday I'm working and trying to relax or get things done in the evening.

I did take a few workshops with Dalia Carella last weekend, and she totally rocked. I wish I was in NYC so I could study with her all the time! Other than that, though, I have not really danced for me for a few weeks. It's tough, I have some music I've been wanting d to work with but I keep having to put it in the "Soon!" pile. Once I post this I'll be back to working on the epic email message I'm sending out to my students that goes over what we learned in class this past session. I've been trying to work on it for two weeks but it's really hard finding time to finish it.

Hopefully things will calm down in a few weeks, or else I'm going to miss the fun of the holiday season!

Music reviews and reservations: Beats Antique, Le Serpent Rouge and Tribal Beats for the Urban Streets

I am slow to buy new music, I think because I am so sad when a CD disappoints me. I did decide to splurge during one Border's trip, and picked up the Beats Antique CD "Tribal Derivations". It's not quite what I expected from the name Beats Antique, which was more of an Old World, modern age meets the music of the common people kind of stuff. Instead it would fit fairly well into the trip hop genre of the mid 1990s, which (for me) means it's nice to listen to but I don't want to dance to much of it. One that that does annoy me is in my own head, that is, I can see EXACTLY how this music is going to be used by fusions dancers everywhere. I hope I do get to see some fabulous dancing to this music so I can relax and shut the hell up. My favorite track? The hidden one. Seriously!

Since I wasn't all that crazy about the Beats Antique I passed it on to my troupemate, and she bought me the "Le Serpent Rouge" disc, which is music from The Indigo's show of the same title. This is a little more my style, especially (my favorite) accordians! I like the mix of music, though again the more eletronic stuff just isn't what I want to hear. In case anyone is wondering, no the Pentaphone is not too weird for me. I've listened to some rather difficult music in my life, so if I wanted to hear it I'd just trot over to my CD collection and pull it out. I'd like to hear more of Pentaphobe's newer stuff, but I'll wait until someone I know has it and I can give it a listen.

Along these lines, I find the review of Tribal Beats for the Urban Streets over at The Gilded Serpent to be highly amusing and at times right on target. Something I find interesting about the CD is the inclusion of a Muslimgauze track. I've been listening to him since 1994/95, and though I own and enjoy a handful of Muslimgauze CDs, I've always had internal conflict about supporting him because of his politics. I do believe he was addressing subjects in his music that most people shy away from, which is important. What bothers me even more is that I hope dancers look into the work of this artist and make informed decisions as to whether or not they want to use it for performance, instead of just jumping on a "it's on a tribal belly dance music CD so let's go with it!" wagon. Check out Donna Mejia's video for great dancing to a Muslimgauze song. I particularly like the attitude and strength she projects.

News, privilege, guilt

Sometimes the news makes me think of dancing. The other day it was while I was driving home from work, headed uptown in late afternoon traffic. As usual I was listening to NPR, and the All Things Considered story was about gemstone miners in Afghanistan.

What caught my ear was the mention of lapis lazuli, a stone you see frequently in less expensive jewelry marketed towards tribal style dancers. Actually, my first lapis jewelry was a pair of dangly earrings I bought as a teenager at the hippie store in my local mall, earrings I've had for 15 years and now occasionally repurpose in my costuming. Lapis is not just for cheaper jewelry, it's also found in vintage and antique pieces. The less expensive items are easier to find, such as the ones sold by Tribal Souk or The Red Camel (who both also carry older, pricier items). *

The story ends with details about the working conditions at gemstone mines in Afghanistan, which really got me thinking.


Conditions in the 20 or so lapis mines above the town are even worse. Some of
them are run by militia commanders. There is no official oversight other than
a required license and taxes paid on equipment in the mine.

Surprisingly, news of the recent mine disaster in Utah has reached this
isolated enclave.

Police chief Sayed Asssadullah Mujaddedi says the American story may have
had a sad ending, but Afghans here envy the equipment and effort that went
into trying to rescue the six American miners.

"We don't have anything like that. There's only one way into our tunnels and
that's the way the miners use," Mujaddedj said. "Last year, six people got
stuck in a cave-in and we had to get them out by clawing at the rocks with
our hands."

Nor are there benefits paid to the families' of miners who die or are maimed.
Mining lapis is a job no one here likes. It doesn't help that the free-for-all
mining encouraged by the Afghan government is lowering lapis prices.
That, in turn, lowers the daily wage, which on a good day, is $10.

But miner Rahimullah says there's no other work available to them. He
has worked the mines for 9 years. He says his 2-year-old son will
someday work them as well, unless other jobs open up.

I wondered, does the lapis in my jewelry (much of it made in Pakistan, as the stickers on the back of items say) come from remote mining towns like this? Is the lapis in my jewelry mined by men with an aging drill and hammers, people who hope that their children will have the opportunity to do something else with their lives instead of this dark and dangerous job?

I suddenly felt like a spoiled brat, in that I am lucky enough to spend my money on jewelry for a hobby, jewelry made from gem stones mined by people who get $10 a day to go in the ground and dig out those stones with hammers. Then I thought that at least these people have a job and make money, and that Afghanistan is changing so that they can legally sell what they mine, and that hopefully this is a step to more economic development that will benefit them, and then I got angry that no, this still really stinks (note - I'm not getting into a discussion of the war and all that, or else this would go on forever).

Finally I felt like an even bigger jerk for my guilty, privileged** whining, when I should really just a) be thankful for what I have and b) try to use some of my money/time/abilities to help out other people.

So I drove home with all this tumbling around in my mind, and thought that I finally had something to type up and post on the blog that was not something I was going to just write up and then delete because it would just be crazy ranting about the usual crap that bugs me in the dance scene (this week: undercutting, bad "fusion"). I'm going to try to follow it up later with thoughts about costuming elements for tribal belly dance, where these elements come from, fair trade, and seeking out alternates when you want to know what you're wearing and where it came from. I'll try to make it coherent.


4/1/2013 ETA: Check out this great article passed along by The Red Camel for further reading. Seems like things could get better for Afghanistan lapis miners: http://www.saudiaramcoworld.com/issue/201302/the.celestial.stone.htm

* Note: I am not passing judgement on these vendors, I am merely using them to illustrate the items I am talking about. I've shopped with The Red Camel (lovely items and a great lady) and I've heard wonderful things about Tribal Souk.


** Speaking of privilege, this weekend I'm headed to Asheville, NC for Triboriginal: Tribal Dance, Music and Culture Camp and I can't wait! I went last year and loved it; hopefully I'll have the energy to report back later. I'm currently having a crisis about what classes to take (when two that look awesome are back to back).

This entry was edited for clarity on 8/31/2010